And How My Heart has Responded
We all have been living in a real life sci-fi movie during the past few weeks. Who could have guessed the world would be turned upside down by a tiny virus? No one. It's so insane that it's almost laughable, except it isn't funny at all. There are so many horrible ramifications causing all of us to second guess just how prepared we were for this.
And it's hard to prepare for something that we have never experienced before. I mean, really how could we prepare for this? It's hard to plan for the unknown. For the ultimate planner personality in me, the fear of the unknown and NOT being prepared for what's to come is probably the most frightening aspect of this whole thing.
I like the thought of being able to take care of myself, to take care of my kids, to take care of my bills and my household no matter what arises. I LOVE being PREPARED for the UNKNOWN because that is what gives me peace.
For many years I have placed my PEACE in my OWN ABILITY to take care of myself.
If this pandemic had happened 12 months ago, I know for a fact that I would be OVERCOME and PARALYZED with fear as so many are right now. But you see God led me down a path of completely trusting him with my future last year. I experienced all the fear, all the hour by hour anxiety and INTERNAL UNREST for most of last year. IT WAS HELL TO WALK THROUGH. I was TORMENTED by looking ahead and not KNOWING HOW IT WAS ALL GOING TO WORK OUT.
Tormented, as in the fear did not stop attacking me every waking second of the day.
You see last year, I felt God's prompting to lay down my career at his feet. The career that I blood, sweat and hard work built to provide for my family. He asked if I would lay it down and trust him. I work in weddings and special events y'all. I've been blessed with financially supporting my lifestyle for the last decade. I loved looking ahead to my yearly calendar and see all the income coming in. It brought me SO MUCH PEACE to be able to SEE AHEAD how I was going to provide for myself. And as I walked through HELL this past year, one thing stood out... God was with me, protected me and provided for me. He showed me over and over how He would provide for me in the most unexpected ways. He spoke to my heart, he led me through deep waters and even when I thought I wouldn't make it out alive, He taught me to rely on Him minute by minute.
He took me down a path that led me from putting MY TRUST in my own ability to PROVIDE FOR MYSELF and LEARN how to completely RELY ON HIM.
And that's EXACTLY what this virus is doing to all of us...giving us the opportunity to TRUST God's ability to provide and protect us MORE than our own ability to do so.
Yes, you are uncomfortable.
Yes, it isn't fun in the moment.
Yes, it seems terrifying and scary to feel completely out of control.
But here's where things are going to get interesting and we will actually be blessed because of it. Let's change our perspective friends. Literally and figuratively our hands are tied. Instead of focusing on everything you CAN'T DO how about anticipate and dwell on ALL THAT GOD IS CAPABLE OF DOING. This is your opportunity to see GOD WORK! Get excited! Watch how God is going to SHOW UP! This is exactly where God shows up the most noticeable!
I literally CANNOT WAIT to see HOW God is going to SHOW UP to provide for us, to work things out, to answer our prayers. He is faithful. He will not fail us. He ALWAYS goes before us. He is IN OUR FUTURE ALREADY with EVERY SOLUTION to EVERY PROBLEM. I sit here, not overcome by fear, but OVERCOME with God's goodness with an eager anticipation of seeing His hand at work.
I KNOW who holds my future and there is no fear in my heart when I place all of my hope and expectation on the God who controls the universe.. Allow yourself to experience the heart wrenching HEART change that is taking place right now...God is working things out for your benefit. He is actually giving us a gift in the midst of hardship--the gift of slowing down and seeing Him.
XO
Carla
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6 Comments
Apr 2, 2020, 10:39:30 AM
Carla Durbin - God is good!!
Apr 2, 2020, 10:39:11 AM
Carla Durbin - Yes it is!!
Apr 2, 2020, 10:38:58 AM
Carla Durbin - Thanks Kelly!! Means a lot!
Mar 29, 2020, 4:50:38 PM
Kevin Moker - It's amazing how to me too how faithful He is. In my darkest times He never left me. I never blamed Him for bad issues. This is a fallen world. We just have to get up, move forward, and have faith. I'm excited for you guys and to see where He takes you both. This is going to be amazing. Praise Him in the storm.
Mar 29, 2020, 11:32:21 AM
Mary - Ugh. Some days it’s harder than others. ❤️
Mar 29, 2020, 11:15:48 AM
Kelly Barr - You are such a gift!! Thank you for sharing!!