When You're Just Plain Ugly

I judge others based on SO MANY dumb things.

I see a girl at the pool...and judge her. Oh just wait until she has kids, that banging body will change. Oh wait, she does have kids? Those are lifted and that's tucked, and whatever, there is nooo possible way she looks like that on her own. I just saw her eat a bag of chips.

I see someone at the gym...and judge her. Who does she think she is wearing yoga pants that tight? I mean, really. They are practically see through. Or even do you see how big she's gotten? Dang, she's really let herself go. I mean, it's not that hard to get on a treadmill and put down the pizza. At least my stomach isn't that big. At least I work out. 

I see a woman at the grocery store and hear the frustration towards her kids...and judge her. I would never talk to my kids that way. Ooooh those poor kids, to be raised by such an unpleasant, impatient mother. Or I would NEVER give in to that whiny brat. Geeeez she is going to raise an entitled snot.

I see a lady at church....and judge. I mean really, does she know she is in CHURCH and not in the club? I"m just saying! Or why does so-and-so never say hello to me what is wrong with her. Sooo Christian of her. I'm just going to walk right on by her, and not say a word. 

I see another female staring me down...and judge her, and then jump to conclusions. Whhaatt is her problem? What have you never seen someone with fake eyelashes. I can't help that I know how to perfectly apply eyeliner, as I flip my long luscious hair in her direction. My upper lip curls in disgust and I roll my eyes. Some women, I swear! 

The list of judgements, condemnations and just plain ugly goes on and on.

Can you believe she sent her kids to school like that? Can you believe she talked about me like that behind my back, and she supposedly prays? I think she needs to spend more time praying. I would never let my kids eat all that crap. Does she even know what a vegetable is? Did you see her dress? Scandalous. I would never drive that car or spend that much money on a house. OMG, that haircut! Or I think she's watched too many youtube videos on makeup. Geez, she needs to watch some more and blend, blend, blend. Thank God her kids aren't my kids, they seriously are birth control and make me re-think the human race. 

I would never....

I would NEVER.

I would never, ya right! I've thought each one of those thoughts above at some point in my life. And here is where the problem lies.

ME. I AM THE PROBLEM!

The more ugly that is in me, the more ugly comes out, and the more UGLY I am. IT is UGLY to judge any person for their decisions, choices, parental skills, body and life. It is rude, it is shaming, it is definitely not loving or Jesus acting. It's not even nice. It is RIDICULOUS, hateful and shows a heart that needs some surgery, a heart that needs a reality check.

Because here is the real problem...It boils down to an inability to accept yourself and therefore need to make yourself feel better by bashing others, whether it's in your head or even spoken out loud. I mean, we learned this in kindergarten and guess what? It still remains true as an adult. 

Because when those type of thoughts come in, and yes, most females think pretty harsh thoughts about other females--and they will come in at some point. You have a choice. Am I going to do this? Or am I going to recognize that yes some people just make poor choices, but that most people are just doing the best they can with the knowledge and tools they currently possess. And people are different and make different decisions. OH MY WORD, WHY ARE WE NOT OKAY WITH PEOPLE BEING DIFFFERENT FROM US?

If you KNOW and LOVE who you are, and are OKAY with that, you don't really care what anyone else is doing, saying or attempting to do. And when I find myself being UGLY, because it does occassionaly still happens, I look inward and check my own self love meter. Am I taking the time to love myself, and sometimes even more importantly am I THINKING love thoughts about me? And I repair my heart. Actually I ask God to repair it. I say, God, I don't want to be hateful towards others. Forgive me. I need some healing in my heart. Show me how you see people. Show me how you see me. 

The heart never lies. EVER. EVER. EVER. It shows exactly what kind of state it's in. 

Matthew 15:18 (New Living)

"But the words you speak come from the heart--that defiles you."

I am a work in progress.

XO

Charley